4 Rules for the Day After

The day after is always rough.

As a teacher it is so easy for me to have an altercation with a student and let it go.  As a mother it is not so easy.  As a wife - nearly impossible.

The other day I had a student throw a desk, and yell in another student's face.  While this may sound as if I have no control in my classroom, remember the proverbial -

However, the next day is always a new day.  Sunny and fresh.  No qualms about simply moving on.

If the same incident were to happen in my house - I would hold a grudge until I saw fit to move on.  Why is it?

When I was a college student, I worked in a small bar in Philadelphia and had a wonderful bartender friend who was always in the same boat as me: she was dating a new boyfriend, who would soon be her husband - me too ; she was surprised to be pregnant - me too; and she was super emotionally charged and held grudges and whined - me too.  We were prepping for the customers and chatting about our most recent encounters with our significant others when I was trying to understand why I could not move on from my most recent fight with my man.  Well, here was my bartender ready to offer me the mentoring advice that only a bartender could provide: because this time it matters.

And of course she was right.  

So here I am 16 years later still thinking about this, and the more I think about this the more I realize how important it is to face every encounter as a learning experience where we can learn and move on as a family.  So here I go...

Rules for the Day After:

1.  Forgive and Forget...Kind of

Of course it is ok to remember, but forgiving is so important.  If you cannot accept an apology, then moving on will be very difficult.  

2.  Move On...

So remembering is in our character, but it is not ok to hold a grudge.  You can remember without fostering anger and resent.  It is crucial you do not continuously bring up the time they hurt you...or the words they said...this will never work.

3.  Learn something about yourself...

When I have an encounter, I have a tendency to stew over the issue.  What did I do to make the situation worse?  Did I really try to figure out what the other person was saying?  How did I try to mend the situation?? or did I simply add to the aggravation?

4.  Be grateful...

In the grand scheme of things, did this encounter really matter?  Gratitude will surely change your attitude!!  

It only took 16 years to figure this crap out...

Love and Peace,

Micha

What TRULY matters...Grit??

😧3.6 that's it??

I could hardly believe I only scored a 3.6 on the grit test in Angela Duckworth's Grit.

In my mind a 3.6 out of 5 is a failing grade.  I responded to all the statements without overthinking and applying them to my daily life and I only scored a 3.6!

In my search for what TRULY matters, I have chosen to eliminate many things in my life: soap making, organizing, group leading.  This has filled my mentality with the idea that I am giving up.  But at what gain? (See what I did there?)  I am giving up static in my life to be more focused on the things that need me now: family, career, personal wellbeing. Does that mean I am not gritty?  Does that mean that I took the test in the wrong capacity?  Should there be a Grit test for moms? HMMMMM...

Of course some of you are thinking who cares about the grit test?  But someone once looked at me and said "I just love your passion for everything."   And this is something I cherished since college.

Commence the overthinking!

Mom Rant
I have the perseverance to deal with my children in a patient and kind manner to teach them right from wrong and how to manage their time and be kind, nurturing people.  Not mention the times I fly off the handle when they don't do what I ask or make a crazy decision or fail a test out of sheet neglect.  Are these not the true  definitions of passion and perseverance?

Wife Rant
In a world littered with broken homes and divorces my husband and I work meticulously at building a solid foundation for our marriage and family life.  We have implemented many different theories and beliefs and ethics into our family that have taken time and perseverance and passion.  We have created a system of fighting and loving and passion and lifestyle that is the epitome of what defines grit.  Is this worthy of a 3.6?

Woman Rant
Full time job, cooking, cleaning, volunteering, wife, mother, teacher, coach - the list is endless.  This is the first time ever that women are required to wear so many hats and my grit scale is a shabby 3.6??? This simply can't be.

If grit truly is the combination of passion and perseverance in tasks as a mother, wife and woman, how could I only score a 3.6.

Teacher Rant 
So if this is truly my score and I truly have a growth mindset, did I fail and have to learn from this in order to conquer my grittiness? Is my search for what TRULY matters going to make my score soar to the 5 that I deserve?  Is the number 3.6, the driving force that will make my search for what TRULY matters a lasting testimony to my grittiness?

Cheers to Mom Grit - The driving force for my journey!

Talk Soon,
~Micha

What TRULY Matters!

It's been a while and boy have I been busy.  Buzz buzz buzz! Taking on this and that and more and more.

In a matter of two years, I started a flourishing soap business, organized a farmer's market and started a community group for girls to deal with bullying -  add that to the things I already did - coach lacrosse, teach ccd, keep bees and chickens and more and more and more.  Not only do I have a problem saying no, but I have a serious problem of starting things.  I was involved in so many different things I started to realize I wasn't enjoying any of them.  Putting energy into so many different things lends itself to being overworked and underpaid.

So I did myself a favor.  I went to the last moment I was truly happy.  I just turned thirty; I was running every morning, taking my children to the park daily, practicing Yoga regularly and being present in my marriage.  So I simplified my list and it looked something like this:

1. Yoga
2. Running
3. Spending time with my family.

(Not necessarily in that order.)

What does your list look like and how will you find your journey to define what TRULY matters?

I hope you'll join me on my journey back to me!

Talk Soon!
~Micha

Leap Year Photo Challenge

Today's mom works full time, runs the house, chaffeurs everyone to sporting events, to dances, to hang out with their friends, etc.  The cycle is endless and trying to find quality time is harder than finding Waldo.

This February some moms and I in are going to challenge ourselves to spend a bit more time with our children throughout the day with a photo challenge.  I thought that February (Valentine's Day month) would be the perfect time to make this effort.  Here is the list of photos you and your child will collect throughout the month.  Feel free to interpret any way you want!  That is part of the fun.  Miss a day?  No pressure!  Try to work it out the next day.

Use the hashtag #felicityformoms on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook to connect with others completing the challenge.   

Bonus: 4 ways to survive the snow!

I usually only post once a month because of time and whatever else is dropped in my lap, but Snowmeggedan has granted me a moment to share what will be going on in Micha's house.

Dreaming of Summer!

I am a summer baby!  Sunshine and beaches, pools and margaritas!  And the sky has dropped 10-12 inches of snow on my tiny farm (I use the term loosely).  Despite the fact that I am in utter denial, I have devised a plan to make Snowmaggedon a bit more bearable.

Check it out!

1.  Prepare with a Plant
It's the end of January a great time to start your seedlings.  I always have some left over from last year and I always try them for another year.  So I have the water bottles and seed starter soil ready to go!  Start now and by march they will be all set for the greenhouse!

2.  Relax with Mandalas

I love coloring mandalas, but as a retired artist, I would love to try to draw my own.  So this weekend my daughters and I will have a go at drawing our own.  I found an awesome tutorial about how to draw mandalas.  Check it out and get creative!

3.  Create Warmth with Sun Salutations
If the sun doesn't want to come out, go to the sun.  Sun Salutations are a wonderful way to warm the breath, body and soul.

Work your way around clockwise, breathe and feel your body create the heat of summer!

4.  Cuddle with your favorite hot tea & a book

Tried and true-warm tea and a good book can transcend me from anywhere.  So farewell snow I will be sailing through the pages to another world.

So here you are... a quick list of to-do's when the weather is doing what you don't want it to.

What will you be doing on this snowy Sunday? Comment below!

With Gratitude,
Micha

One of my famous sayings to my students is "I never fail."  Saying this in front of a room full of high school students always yields gasps...and whats?...and yeah rights.  Their disbelief is deeply ingrained until I enlighten them to the philosophy behind - I never fail.

This year I hunted my white whale...my Moby Dick...I was Ahab bellowing "There she blows!!"  I was dying since the time I started Micha's Homemade Soap to have my soap in a store in Haddonfield.  This particular store is so hip and trendy with a wonderful reputation.  I finally mustered up the confidence to call and there it was my white whale right in view.  The woman on the phone was so nice and I was thrilled.  I emailed the woman and like a bouncy ball - right back it came.

I took this as a sign to pop on over to the store.  I gathered my press kit and some samples and set on my way.  When I walked in, the lovely lady who answered the phone was there and she was so kind.  I had a sample box for her and for the owner and lo and behold the owner was right at the cash out counter!!

We spoke...

She sniffed...

She loved!! 

I waited and waited.  I followed up...she showed interest.  I popped in again to make a purchase.  I reintroduced myself she was quite hesitant.  This was not going to happen. As Ahab, for a brief moment, I was devoured by a humongous white whale; I was feeling quite down.

I started to think I would give up Micha's and be on my merry way to a life with one less hat.

But how could I do that?  I have preached to my students for years that "I never fail"  and I AM MICHA! There is no other Micha.  Thanks to the many different people in my life who fall in love with the Micha products I create and the Micha Moments they are meant to experience, I will not fail at this either.

Part of life is reflection and learning.  And this "fail" is just another  moment to reflect, revisit and rework to make something better than ever!!

A wonderful soccer mom once said, "Perception is reality."   I invite you to have a different perception on your "fail" this 2016.

What will you reflect on, revisit and rework?? Comment below!!

Dear Flip Flops, I will never cheat on you with my snowboots! XOXO

16-18-26  Definitely not my measurements!  But the forecasted temperatures for the next three days, and it doesn't look any better in the near future.  Oh! and did I mention the 3 - 4 inches of snow on the ground?  What to do?  What to do?

Three words: 

PREOCCUPY-PREOCCUPY-PREOCCUPY!

Thaw your feet and fingertips with thoughts of spring.  Yesterday, I wandered over to my seedlings!  Engulfed in excitement I saw my Chamomile, Calendula, Sunflowers, Brussel Sprouts and Broccoli beginning to peek their heads out of their little dirt wombs!  Are any of your seeds cracking and veering their lovely green sprouts??

The energy of new life begins a new thought!  The garden!  Time to plan phase two of the garden. What will I plant where?  How will I create a border?  Stone or mulch? Any thoughts??

If you notice, my first emerging seedlings are a few flowers which I use in soap making (Chamomile, Calendula, Sunflowers)!  Time to research oil infusions!  I have never used Calendula in soap, but I know the powder makes a wonderful yellow that is amazing for dry skin- which we are all just about chapped to the bone- Hmmm??? How to dry and ground!  I am beginning to think these cold days are a blessing so I can prepare and be successful.

Switching gears to the 

TWEEN INVASION!!

When we first moved here, one of  my husbands first amazing feats of carpentry was a two story playhouse for my children.  My son claimed the top and my daughters claimed the bottom.  We quickly worked to paint the inside pink and purple.  Moved the play kitchen outside. Added a white rocker to the porch and Voila! Pretty Playhouse it was!

Well now my son is 13 and my daughters are slowly moving beyond the days of playing house.  As I wipe my tears away at the thought of my babies not being babies anymore - we decide to remodel.  We have spent hours on Pinterest growing ideas for the Tween Invasion!! (Feel free to follow the board or send me suggestions!) This entire remodel will be featured in a series of Blogs and Vlogs following the TWEEN INVASION!!  Stay tuned!!

As you see many things are in the works.  The winter is not simply a time of freezing feet and numb noses.  It is a time to slow down, think and plan.  And if you are anything like me, someone who dives in with two feet first, it might be an answer to our silent summer prayers: slow down, think, plan.  Perhaps not the one we are looking for, but an answer nonetheless reminding us:

we are not in control of everything

we cannot rush nature 

we must learn to slow down. 

So once again, the Summer Gods have made an appearance and assured me that this is much needed time to ensure a successful season in a summer baby's world.